Fucking great

Mr is getting transferred.  Everyone in his department is.  They are moving to a building in the middle of effing nowhere.  He used to ride his bike to work.  This will no longer be an option.  The ability to walk across the street for a coffee and a snack, doesn't exist at the new building.  This is his second reassignment in two months.  The first one was because the project he'd been working on for almost five years was killed.  Now it's because his whole department is merging with a bunch of other departments.  He is not happy with where he will be going.  It's not just the location change, but the job change as well.  He will be in a very people oriented position now.  He will be on the phones answering questions from pushy people, angry people, anxious people.  This is the absolute opposite of the type of job an Aspergian should have.  His stress level is already so elevated, and he doesn't start the new job until next week.  His stomach was in knots.  He was shutting down and shutting out before he even got home.  All the isolation problems we have now, will elevate to unbearable levels, and soon.  He has the opportunity to take an IT position.  It would be a $550 a month pay cut.  He said he didn't want to risk making the whole family miserable by losing so much pay.  I told him, stay at this new job, and you will make us all miserable.  Of course he responded with something like "yeah...but".  Whatever.  There is nothing I can do.  He will either apply for the IT position or he won't.  Either way he decides, there will be some emotional prepping I will need to do.  I have been looking into full time State work.  One paying app $2,000 a month.  If need be, that should be enough to allow me to move out.  I just don't feel it anymore.  I just don't.  I wish I did.  But I have no interest in intimacy with him at all anymore.  It's been building up for a while, but I am starting to think that the worst of it came when I found out about The Teen no longer being a virgin.  I will have to ask The Teen when the shit hit the fan on that one.

So now I am at a coffee joint sipping an espresso drink, and posting.  I have so much to say, so much to sort out... and not doing well with any of it.