Saturday, April 7, 2012

Symptom or trigger?

Does it really matter?  A lack of good restful sleep.  It can cause a hypo-manic episode.  It can also be a symptom of said episode.  Either way, the two go hand in hand.  So if I find myself not sleeping well, I check my mood.  Am I getting ill again?  If my mood seems out of whack, I look at my sleep pattern.  The stupid thing is, it doesn't do anything for me to check these things.  I am tired and hypo-manic.  The only thing my knowing those facts means.... is that I know these facts.  The knowledge doesn't alleviate the the lack of sleep or the mania.  Time is the only thing that does that.  Though, knowing I am 'Ill' again means I can tell people I am ill.  Other people knowing I am sick, I think, helps them to forgive me.  Forgive my behavior.  Forgive my grouchiness.  I don't think it really helps them to not be hurt by my actions, but at least they can blame my illness and not me.  Well, a bit anyway. 

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